19 January 1820: The Embarrassment of it all, the nerve of it.

The ball was over, and all was done. I left with my husband, who had been sleeping since midnight. He gave me the wraps that he had brought, the most modern wraps in life. I felt astounded! I had been the most beautiful woman there, and here he was, without a care, giving me something that completely clashed with my beauty.

 I always knew that Poverty and Beauty never go together. They are always two complete different worlds apart. I wanted to escape, I did not want anyone else to see me, especially the women who were enveloping themselves in costly furs.

My husband held me back, asking me to wait for him to call a cab as he was afraid that I would catch a cold. I no longer cared. I turned away and hurriedly descended the stairs. I refused to let anyone see me in this state. I looked awful, it does not suit me. Have I not told him before, to me, beauty always, and I mean always, comes first.

When we finally reached the street, we could not find a carriage and began to look for you, shouting after the cabmen passing. I was so angered, why could they not listen to us. I was to be of high class, you should answer my call and listen to me. That was what I thought. However, no matter what, they did not stop for us.

Thus, we went back to Seine on foot, shivering with cold. It was freezing, but there is nothing we could do if they did not answer us. Finally, we found those ancient night cabs which are only seen here after dark.I had rather not get in as it was so shabby, however, I was cold and tired, giving in. After that, we had finally reached back to our dwelling, back to Rue des Martyrs.